Dr. Brewspare Baconcrust

Dr. Cliffswathe BarrenpostDr. Blacksmith Barrowfast is a world renown scientist working for the Research & Development department of B.R.O. Alliance, specifically in the fields of quantum mechanics and obscure alcoholic beverages. His name is so peculiar that apparently no one can remember or spell it correctly, which, together with his boring and forgettable personality, condemned Dr. Broadercast to a whole life of loneliness and abandonment. Visibly overweight and equipped with an exceptional amount of body hair, Dr. Brokentrust uses his own beard as an improvised wig to disguise his baldness, but the dubious results perhaps contribute to his chronic lack of success with women.

What’s all this about people not remembering the dude? Dr Boogerblast has a beard you could never forget! Wait, I might be thinking of that other guy in R&D. Maybe Jeff? Does a Jeff work there?

— John Dudebro

Dr. Rosencrantz was last seen a few weeks before the events of the game, but for the reasons listed above, reconstructing his last movements has proven itself impossible. He was briefly suspected by a B.R.O. operative to be held prisoner by the SkullPro organization, but said operative forgot to include his name in the report. Will Dudebro’s mission involve rescuing Dr. Askflyhhjetmanpf? Wait, who are we talking about again?

Dr Whatchamacallhim is absolutely brilliant and his presence is vital for the B.R.O. Alliance. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told. Never seen him before. We should probably look into rescuing him or something.

— General Dawgless Lee

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