Brolar Bear

Brolar Bear SilhouetteLet us introduce you to the infamous Brolar Bear. Many years ago, this big, bad bear could be seen shotgunning beers and seducing babes with a group of bros that included the legendary John Dudebro.

When Dudebro dared to ask this once-fellow bro just how cool he was, the massive polar bear replied with somewhat of a grunt and simply pointed to a can of Buddy Light. Dudebro pretended to understand and replied, “Buddy Light Cold. Fuck yeah, bro.”

The good old days of bitches and keg stands were cut short when Brolar Bear lost his BBF (Best Bro Forever) to the service of the B.R.O. Alliance. Brolar Bear was alone. All he wanted was someone to drink a few Buddy Lights with but everyone around him drank inferior alcoholic beverages. Now an outcast moreso than ever before — and rejected by his only one true bro — he fell into a deep depression. Instead of hibernating during the winters, Brolar Bear started embarking on six-month-long benders complete with a diet exclusively consisting of deep-fried seal tails. Becoming a delivery truck driver only made this easier. He quickly grew a massive beer gut that he is still subconscious of today.

Trying to play pokesies with a polar bear was never a good idea, but trying it on a hung-over polar bear who’s self-conscious of his brew paunch was an even worse idea.

— John Dudebro

Brolar Bear eventually joined the rest of his former bros in forming the Dude Squad, to try and meet up with his old friend again — this time as a target. Still working as a truck driver, Brolar Bear would survey the Alaskan plains close to the base. Will Dudebro be able to take down this animal on its home turf?

One Response to “Brolar Bear”

  1. Valygar says:

    One of the most awesome names and bosses in Dudebro II. I can’t wait to defeat him.

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